Numbers 23: 19God is not a man, that he should lie. He is not human, that he should change him mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through? Those are rhetorical questions. But how awesome is the truth they emphasize! These are words from God, spoken by a prophet. They are not words made up by someone. Think about what they truly say: God never speaks and fails to act. If He says it, it will happen. He will never make a promise and fail to carry it out. All those 7,000 promises in the Bible… yeah, He’s not lying about them. If He promises it, it will happen. I have a hard time remembering these things. But, God is not like me. He isn’t human. He doesn’t lie – He IS truth. He doesn’t go back on his promises like we do. He knows the future, so he knows how it will all work out. He is constant and can be depended upon. How awesome is that?! (Small side note about the rest of Balaam’s story: the king asks Balaam two more times to curse “just some of these people” after the first blessing. Each time Balaam delivers another blessing instead of a curse. You’d think this king would learn faster. Finally, he says, “Listen, if you aren’t going to curse them, at least don’t bless them!” Silly people, we just don’t learn!)
Romans 1:19 says that all people instinctively know the truth of God because He puts that knowledge in our hearts. But some people choose to push that knowledge away because then they can do what they want. The chapter goes on to say that God allowed them to do all the depraved things they wanted, but here would be consequences. Sound familiar? It’s eerily like what is going on in America today. We know there’s a God but many of us choose to ignore Him and to pretend like He doesn’t exist. So we run off and do our own thing. After watching the news lately, this hits home more and more often as our government allows more and more things that go against God’s Word. Kind of scary. But, as always, God is in control so all I can do it trust that He’s got it in His hand.
Ecc 11:5 God’s ways are as hard to discern as the pathways of the wind and as mysterious as a tiny baby being formed in a mother’s womb. That pretty much sums it up. I have no idea what God is up to. But, I guess that’s why He is God and I’m not. We think we’re pretty smart. We use science to try and explain everything. And, science is good. However, no matter how much we try to explain God and the things in this world, no matter how much we learn and how much we can see, we will never figure His ways out. Maybe that’s why it seems so hard to walk in His ways. John and I really want to be on His path, in the middle of His plan, doing what He wants… but sometimes it seems like we’re walking in the dark and as lost as a child alone in a wild theme park. And this begs the question… Do you trust Me? … I choose to trust Him. I choose to keep stepping forward, trusting that He will be there to catch me. I choose to believe in Him even when I can’t see Him or feel Him or hear Him. I choose to raise my children to know Him. I choose to serve Him, not things or myself (at least to do my utmost in this area because as a human I will fail). I choose to seek Him – to know His character and to recognize His voice. So, yes. I suppose, in the end, I will trust You. I will never understand why You do the things You do or allow the circumstances You allow. I will never fully know Your ways or Your thoughts and motivations. But, if I believe ONE part of You – that You are who You say You are – God, Truth, Life – then I must also believe the other parts of You – Provider, Love, Father, Way. Do you trust Me?Before, I don’t know. Will you trust Me?Yes. So, Do you trust Me?Yes.
“As for God, His way is perfect.All the Lord’s promises prove true…” ~2 Sam. 22:31a All His promises prove TRUE. This is the crux of my doubts lately. Do His promises prove true for everyone or just some people. I guess, at my pity party and narrow point of view, it seems that I hear amazing stories about God answering His promises… but when it comes to my life, I don’t see this. I’m probably too close to the situation (forest for the trees?), because I know God’s answered a lot of prayers in my life. It just often seems that the promises hold true for THEM, but not always for ME. Selfish, huh? Maybe God’s trying to get me to look past my narrow scope and remember that His ways are waaaay above what I can guess or imagine. So, I don’t understand, but that doesn’t mean He lied. Lemony Snicket put it this way: “Just because I don’t understand, doesn’t mean it isn’t so.” Good words from a great author! Anyhow, God is perfect – so He can’t lie. Therefore He is true… and everything He does is true – including making promises.
John and I have been going through some pretty intense financial issues, and recently our church did a series called “The Blessed Life” from the book by Robert Morris. It was incredible, as was the book. Although we had been tithing, it gave us a totally different perspective on what we were doing and not doing… so we made some changes in how we did things. And things got worse… both kids and both of us got sick, one in the hospital resulting in lost work days and wages, both were home from daycare (which we have to pay for whether they go or not), and it just seemed to keep coming. Finally, after being thrown up on for the 5th time in one day, I lost it and I got mad at God. I told my poor husband that it seemed like God must hate us. We try to do the right thing and He throws us under the bus. Does He love us like He says He does? Does He keep His promises in the Bible (like the ones that promise blessing, etc.)? Is He even paying attention to us (it certainly feels like were being ignored)? He, of course, was just as frustrated by the situation and he didn’t have any answers, either. For a couple of days I really questioned God, searching for some kind of answers or justification or something that would explain what was going on. I didn’t find much. But, I heard a song by Barlow Girl with a verse that said, “I’m about to let go, and live what I believe, I can’t do a thing now, but trust that you’ll catch me.” That pretty much became my motto. I know from past experience that God is real – I have no doubt about that. But, I don’t know that He’ll catch me. And right now, there’s nothing I can about our situation at all. So, do I live what I believe – that God is who He says He is? So, I let go. I believe that He will do and be who and what He says He is. I don’t understand; I really don’t get it, but I know what I believe – that He is God. So, I live it even if I don’t understand and hope that someday, He’ll make it make sense. SO, that being said, this is The God Hunt. Who is God? What is He like? What on earth is He up to? This is my quest, my search, my question, my Hunt.