Hurry, hurry, hurry! My mornings are insane! I leave for work at 6am, which has cut my time in the morning in half. I feel like most of the time I’m posting things from my devotional readings at Skip Moen’s site. Sigh. Sorry! This morning the post I read asked a question about knowing God. Well, first it explained that knowing God isn’t about knowing Him in my head; it’s not doctrine. It’s about empathy. Do I feel His heart-wrenching pain over the betrayal and suffering of His beloved Israel? Do I feel His anguish over the prodigal children that have wandered from His protective care? Do I feel His agony as He allows punishment to come to the ones He loves? I’ve never thought of knowing God like that. And, sadly, if that is the measure by which I know God, then I don’t know Him much at all. I can’t comprehend His love for me, nor can I empathize with the way He feels about His people as a whole. I can in small ways, I suppose. But it’s not a regular occurrence. And, in some ways, it’s scary to think of what it would be like to truly feel as He feels. It would seem to be a gaping wound that refuses to heal. Perhaps that’s part of the fear of the Lord. To truly know Him would be brutal in some ways. But if I understand His sorrow and longing, then perhaps I can also understand His love. You can read Skip’s article, “Yada, Yada, Yada (pt 1)” here.
Micah 6:3 O my people, what have I done to make you turn from me? Tell me why your patience is exhausted! Answer me! What a heart-piercing question. How often I accuse God and am angry at Him for the things going on in my life. There have been times when I’ve cried to Him, and there have been times when I’ve literally yelled at Him in anger and frustration. I don’t think God minds when I lose it like that. It’s probably one of the times when I’m most honest about my feelings with Him. But when I’ve calmed down and breathe deeply, I realize that it’s not really God’s fault. Sure, God could have stopped it or changed it, but sometimes things that happen are consequences of our actions or the actions of others. God isn’t going to control us that way. I realize that not all things are controllable, like sickness, and I don’t know the answer for that. I know that the “Christian” answer is that God has a purpose (which He does) and will somehow use the event and its pain and frustration in yours or someone else’s life (which he will…. eventually) and that you have to trust God’s love for you. And I hate answers like that! Don’t get me wrong. I know there is great truth to that answer. But when you’re spiraling down into pain and despair, an answer like that makes you want to punch the person who gives it to you. Sometimes a hug is a much better answer. Anyway, God asks the Israelites for a list of their grievances against Him. He wants us to tell Him our frustrations (with Him and with life). But, when we do that, we might be surprised at the blessings that come to mind at the same time. Then we might realize that we have an awful lot to thank God for, too.