What Do I Know of Holy by Addison Road

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life “its” name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

Skip’s post: Identification Marks

My response:

I think a lot of us are in that place where the Messiah has overthrown our entrenched beliefs.  This leaves us (me, at least) staggering, trying to rethink, relearn, realize the Truth (as opposed to the traditions that have been created, that we have grown up with since childhood).  Yesterday I sat in church (yes, I still go) and compared the sermon (all about giving generously and God’s blessing for believers) with Skip’s post (about how believers are punished to bring them into alignment with the family requirements and how being a Christ-follower isn’t all roses and cash prizes – okay, that was my interpretation).  There are some times when I enjoy what is said and it does come relatively close to the things I’m learning.  And then there are times when I laugh and think, “How can you cherry pick which parts of the Old Testament count?”

I think a lot of us are in that place where the Messiah has overthrown our entrenched beliefs.  This leaves us (me, at least) staggering, trying to rethink, relearn, realize the Truth (as opposed to the traditions that have been created, that we have grown up with since childhood).  Yesterday I sat in church (yes, I still go) and compared the sermon (all about giving generously and God’s blessing for believers) with Skip’s post (about how believers are punished to bring them into alignment with the family requirements and how being a Christ-follower isn’t all roses and cash prizes – okay, that was my interpretation).  There are some times when I enjoy what is said and it does come relatively close to the things I’m learning.  And then there are times when I laugh and think, “How can you cherry pick which parts of the Old Testament count?”

I grew up a missionary kid, so those entrenched beliefs were driven in deep… and pulling them up by the roots is a tough job.  The question is, when the bed is clean and the soil ready, what is the Truth to be planted?  And how does the garden grow properly so it becomes the beautiful thing it was meant to be?

There is really only one thing I do know for sure:  YHWH is God.  He is ONE.  The only one.

I also know that Yeshua came as a man and died and rose again for me, to repair the relationship that was severed in the garden.  And I know that the Torah is my act of obedience in response to Him.  It doesn’t save me (only God’s graciously attributing righteousness to me can do that), but it shows me how to live as a citizen of His kingdom.  I helps me be “set apart” from the world.

Beyond that, I’m a little confused and uncertain.  I don’t know how singing praises fits in to all of this, and I don’t know how sacrifices and such fit in so long ago, and I don’t know how these things that seem to attack my brother-in-law and husband fit it, and  I don’t know how to apply a lot of the things I’m learning.  Sometimes I wish the answer was more obvious.

Have I mentioned how much I love the fact that I can now go and research all this, from a Hebrew view, no less!

“Peace I give to You”
Almighty One I need peace;
Rest and comfort to calm my soul
Help and order to sooth my mind.
Confusion roils through my heart
I seek Your truth
I seek Your way

But I find that I don’t find
The answers that I seek
I find that I don’t know
Who You are or
What to say.

Do the small things count?
Do the mundane things matter?
When I talk to You
Do I presume with my questions?
Are requests too selfish?
Are my askings out of line?
I feel I’ve lost my tongue,
My voice is blind.

I know you speak and answer
I know You’re always here
I have no doubt You love me
I have no doubt You’re mine.

Yet I wonder, is it personal with You?
If the Plan is more important
What’s the point of asking You?
Do I take Your “promises”
Out of Your context
When I apply them to me and myself?

My foundations are crumbled
My understanding has faltered
My heart is confused: Are You Friend and Father?
I know You created the universe huge
I know You created each person on earth
I know You created each tiny (annoying) bug
I know You created each one of us.

Who are You?
What importance am I?
How should I relate to the maker of Life?

Who are You?
Who am I to You?
What can I whisper to the creator of Life?

Who are You?
How does this all fit?
How should I walk in this relationship
With You?

Psalm 119:126

It is time for You to act, O LORD, For they have regarded Your law as void.

The reason this verse caught my eye is because the next two verses start with “Therefore…” and they’re about the writer’s love of God’s commands and his hatred of all evil.  I wondered, “If these are the effects, what is the cause?”  It would seem to lie in this verse.

This verse is a call to action.  Whoever “they” are have ignored God’s law  (that would be the Torah – it’s even in the text).  Doing this is grounds for action (an effect).  And David loves God’s commands and hates evil because he knows that God will act when the people ignore God’s laws.

And, even though this wasn’t something I thought about immediately upon reading this, Christianity has done this today – regarded the Torah as void.  This is grounds for action today, too!  Looking at God’s response to idolatrous nations (here’s an interesting article on what that means), I’d really want to be on the other side – the one that obeys Torah and doesn’t regard His laws as void.

Can I say that I love His commands more than gold?  That I consider all His precepts to be right about everything?  David does.  I should, too.  God doesn’t make mistakes.  God is a god of action.  And He requires action from me, too.  The questions beg an answer:

Do I love His commands more than my stuff?

Do I truly consider Him right about everything?

Do my actions (the way I act and live) reflect my answers to those two questions?  That’s the real question.

Psalm 119:96

I have seen an end of all perfection, But Your commandment is exceedingly broad.

Let me start by saying that I have no idea what to make of this verse.  It pretty much says what it means, when it’s translated.  In the midst of a psalm about God’s word and faithfulness, I don’t understand how this fits in.    What does it mean for His commandment to be exceedingly broad?  Interesting that it’s just commandment (singular) and not commandments (plural).  Also, when the words are arranged in the order they are in Hebrew they actually read:

To all perfection have seen an end (or limit, as one translation puts it).  So perhaps the first part is about how limited our ability to be completed or perfect is.  Maybe because the Law (a collective version of commandment) of God covers so many things it is impossible to fully obey or perfectly obey them.  I honestly don’t know.

Sorry for the rambling.  Today my brain is anticipating (worrying?) an interview I have today.  I already have a job (which has it’s own set of pros and cons), and in some ways, were I to be offered this position, this job is better and in others it’s about the same (and it comes with its own set of cons).  I am trying to remember how God has always been faithful in the past to guide me.  However, considering how my paradigm has shifted recently, I’m not entirely sure how to approach this.  In the end, He is God.  He directs my ways.

Numbers 21:8

Then the LORD said to Moses, ” [fn] Make a fiery serpent, and set it on a standard; and it shall come about, that everyone who is bitten, when he looks at it, he will live.

My first thought when I read this verse was about the serpent.  Why would God create something that could easily become an idol?  My second thought was, “Why is  serpent italicized?”  And my last thought was that it’s not about the serpent, it’s about obedience.

Generally italicized words mean that they aren’t present in the original text or there’s some question about them.  The word used in the text is “seraph” which can mean a fiery serpent or it can mean a being like the seraphim.  I’m not sure why it’s in italics since it seems to be in the text.

So, that aside, my thinking it, it’s not about what’s on the pole, it’s about whether or not I look.  If I put a toy car on a pole and told you that if you looked at is after being bitten by a snake you’d be healed, you’d probably think I was nuts and laugh.  You’d probably run to get your first aid kit.  But it’s such a simple fix.  Will you go and look?  Being obedient means life.  Being skeptical means death.    Do I obey even when it seems weird or silly?  Or do I shake my head and walk away?  I don’t have to understand to believe.  That’s the hardest part for me, since I tend to be such a Greek thinker.  But that’s not how God works.  Obedience is an expression of my faith in God.  Do I trust Him to do what He says?  Do I trust Him to be what He says?  Do I trust His character and love?

Do I obey?

Numbers 16:3

They assembled themselves together against Moses and against Aaron and said to them, “You have gone too far! For all in the congregation are holy, every one of them, and the Lord is among them. Why then do you exalt yourselves above the assembly of the Lord ?”

To resolve the questions about Moses’ authority, God had Moses collect the staff of every tribal leader and place them in front of the altar.  One staff, Aaron’s, sprouted into an almond tree.  This was a sign that God had chosen Aaron’s house, the Levites, to serve Him and to carry the iniquity of the people.

Here’s where I get lost. The staff was a sign to remember the rebellion.  It was also a warning for the people to stay away from the “testimony” (which I’m not certain about).  Then the people freak out and start crying that they’re all going to die!  How do they figure that?  God simply said it was a reminder and that they should stay back from the testimony (perhaps this is the ark?).  If they break His boundary they would die because they are unholy treading on holy ground.

And then He goes on to say that Aaron’s house has been chosen:

Numbers 18:1

So the Lord said to Aaron, “You and your sons and your father’s house with you shall bear iniquity connected with the sanctuary, and you and your sons with you shall bear iniquity connected with your priesthood.

Iniquity is absence of moral value, wickedness.  How is iniquity or an absence of moral value connected with the sanctuary?  And how is it connected to the priesthood?  And why are the Levites carrying it?

Yet, somehow this bearing of iniquity is a positive thing because the Levites are responsible for caring for the Sanctuary and the Holy Place behind the veil.    It’s a “covenant of salt” between them.  Sigh… so much I don’t know or understand.  Need more study!

I read Leviticus 27 today and it’s all about vows and avowed objects (people, animals, houses, etc.).  I don’t get it.  I’m sure the reason I don’t understand it is that I live  now and all of this is rather foreign.  Not to mention the fact that the way of phrasing things is a little confusing.

Upon further research I have to conclude that I still don’t get it.  There are so many opinions on Biblical matters.  Some people say that Leviticus was actually written after the fall of Jerusalem and the people were in exile.  Others conclude that it’s a compilation of priestly code (a rule book) and other laws that were added as clarification.  Obviously it’s been included in our Bible for a reason.  But, it makes me wonder: how much of what we have in the Old Testament is considered the Torah?  How much of it is “original” and how much is added on through tradition, time, and politics?

I’m glad that God knows my heart.  He knows I want to be obedient.  The irony is that as much as I want to be, I’m not entirely sure what to be obedient to – at least as far as His Word is concerned.  No wonder people spend lifetimes studying this!  It’s like a tangle of yarn.  There are so many opinions and translations and thoughts and conjectures.  How can I sort them out?

On top of that, when I have a big decision to make, how do I know what to do?  If, as Skip Moen explains, the Hebrew view of obedience and seeking God’s will involved looking back (imagine rowing a row boat – you face backwards to move forward and steer by looking back)…. then how does that apply when a decision has to be made?  I can understand the concept of looking back to move forward when it comes to trusting God for the future, but how does it translate when I’m expected to give someone an answer about a future thing?

Wow.  Okay.  Well, obviously I have issues.  And I’m going to keep seeking answers.  Maybe that’s what makes this such an interesting and fascinating quest.  I’m always trying to get my students to seek knowledge voluntarily, and here I am doing just that.  And sometimes, I get just as frustrated as they do.