“Then you will delight yourself in Adonai, and He will give you your heart’s desire. Commit your way to Adonai; trust in Him and He will act.” Psalm 37:4-6 There are two verbs here that stuck out to me: give and act. They have something in common. Neither have anything to do with me! My usual thought is to ask God, pray about something, and then do something, maybe “helping” it get going. I give the situation to God, and then I act, assuming that I’m doing what He wants me to do. But these verses are pretty clear. HE gives and HE acts. All the action that involves doing is done by Adonai, not me. So what am I supposed to do? Sit there? Well, yes, sort of. I have to delight in Him (trust, settle in the place He puts me, and feed on His faithfulness), and I have to commit my way to Him. I have to believe and trust. Trust is inaction in action. I can believe and then do nothing about it, acting contrary to my “beliefs,” but trust implies that I act on my trust (or in this case, not acting, but rather waiting an allowing Him to act, which I believe will be a good thing because I delight in Him and He loves me). Once again, my actions are unnecessary. God does the acting. God does the giving. I don’ t need to “help” Him. I just have to release control, let it go, and find joy in the One who loves me with a passion that is unfathomable! And that is amazing!
The Question A friend asked me recently what verses came to mind when I was stressed out, or which I could think of off of the top of my head. I was a deer in headlights. I froze. I couldn’t think of anything. She then asked me if I had a verse or two that could be considered a “life verse.” Ummmm. Not really. No. I could do the cliche and quote the one about “For I know the plans I have for you…”, but that doesn’t really strike my soul. And then… I was reading a few mornings ago and found it! It kind of jumped off the page at me. “You ADONAI are a shield around me; My glory and the One who lifts my head.” (Psalm 3:3) There is so much wrapped up in that one, relatively small, verse! My shield: He is my protection, my guardian, my redeemer, my rescuer, my hedge. I hide behind Him and in Him when trouble comes. My glory: It’s His reputation instead of mine, His power that makes all things possible, His honor for which I was created and gifted , His fame that He uses me for. I worship Him in His glory. The lifter of my head: There is such incredible compassion in that one simple movement! When I am ashamed, afraid, sad, humiliated, I hang my head and I’m afraid to meet the eyes of my Abba. When I have broken a law (like Esther), I approach with my eyes low, awaiting my fate. When I am in awe of His immensity and power, I bow my head in reverence. And He gently touches my chin and raises me up until my eyes fall into His. In this one phrase there is compassion, kindness, mercy, hope, adoption, and so much love. Here is one who buys me back from the darkness, who says I am worthy to bear His name, who forgives me when I am wrong, who mixes judgement with mercy, who knows my weaknesses and gives me strength to stand, whose love washes everything else away. And in that, so much is said. He is my all.
I am victorious! Revelation 21:7 He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son. These things mentioned in this verse are: And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, 4and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” 5And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new ” And He said, “Write, for these words are faithful and true.” 6Then He said to me, “It is done I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost. …” Because I am victorious in Christ Yeshua, I am given water from the spring of life and God will dwell with me among His people. And when I am too weak to fight, the Holy Spirit himself intercedes for me (Rom. 8:26). God is good, but I struggle to truly KNOW it. I know it in my head, but it seems to hover over my heart instead of sinking in. I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall. I keep expecting God to be watching and waiting for me to mess up so He can crush me like a bug or punish me with something painful. Intellectually, I realize that goes against everything I know… and yet, that’s how I’ve always experienced authority – as Big Brother waiting for me to make a mistake so I can be punished or smushed. I yearn to know God differently, but as difficult as life has been, it’s difficult to see how He’s different (even though I know it could have been so much more difficult and painful). I’m praying that head knowledge becomes heart knowledge. Feel free to pray with me.
I am holy and without blame before Him in love. Ephesians 1:4 just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him in love I don’t usually feel holy or blameless, yet I know that through the forgiveness of God and the blood of His son, Yeshua, I am blameless. It’s hard to wrap my mind around. Before YHWH created the earth or brought any order to the chaos of the void, He already knew who I was and who I would be, and He knew that His Son would make me holy. And, technically, since all time is present tense to God, I already was and already was holy. Try wrapping your brain around that! I also think it’s important that I’m before Him. I’m not relegated to some obscure corner. He not only loves me, He wants me before Him. That is awesome and incredible!
Psalm 122:9 For the sake of the house of the LORD our God, I will seek your good. Spock, on Star Trek, always believed that the good of the many outweighed the good of the one. Today that’s a somewhat shocking thought; however, he’s probably right. And he’s probably closer to the truth, too. That’s not the point I wanted to make today though. I thought this was a good verse for me to remember this year (and hereafter). I seek the good of others, not for my own sake, but for the sake of the house (family) of God. When I seek the good of others (even my enemies) it blesses everyone around me. I heard Skip Moen say that the part in the Bible where it says to pray for your enemies and thereby heap burning coals on their head actually means that you will heap blessings on their head. The Hebrew pictograph for blessing literally shows “flames on the head.” I think this is a similar concept. It’s a good thing to remember as I sort out issues with my past job and endeavor to excel at my present job.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m still in the middle of a struggle to understand all this (all that I’ve learned about the words I read, the Hebrew mindset, the Torah, etc.), but I used to think of God as warm and comforting, as someone I could snuggle into when I was afraid and talk to when I am afraid. But, now He seems more cold and distant, more a king than a comforter, more a holy GOD than a relate-able, tell-me-what’s-wrong-I’m-listening Father. Is He warm, kind, and loving, or is He cold, unapproachable in holiness, and loving me as a piece of a larger plan? Sometimes it seems that I don’t matter (I don’t mean that selfishly, but more that I’m a pawn in a larger game which matters much more than I do). And if the plan is bigger and better, if I don’t matter in the grand scheme of it all (being such a tiny player), why did God create me? I miss feeling like God cares about me. I’m not saying that He ignores me or that He’s made a mistake. It just seems like the personal aspect of a relationship with God has been removed because the communal, over-everyone, unapproachable-because-I-am-not-worthy part is so much bigger. I feel that I’m constantly unacceptable and walking on eggshells because I want to obey Him but don’t know how. I’m sorry, I feel rather confused and melancholy this morning. Perhaps I’m struggling with what I want vs. what He wants, and I need to remember what it’s like between me and my children – sometimes they don’t get what they want because I know something they don’t know and I have something better/safer/cooler for them up my sleeve.
Psalm 119:37 Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, [And] revive me in Your way Take my eyes from considering emptiness; return me to life in Your manners/moral character. Sometimes I’m very selfish. Probably more often than I’d like to admit. It’s especially bad when I’m tired. I also tend towards being non-confrontational and hesitate to voice my frustrations, because I know the reception to them won’t be pleasant. And then the mousehole/molehill becomes a mountain, and a minor annoyance gets blown out of proportion. Maybe when I find myself in this kind of situation, I should remember this verse. Emptiness or emptiness of speech (vanity, worthlessness) is my selfishness. The true thing to look at is my ability to bless others, to love them even when they don’t deserve it. Yeshua did that for me. God does that for me. All that being said, I’m not always sure how to respond when I get frustrated by a situation, especially if I’m stuck doing something that someone else should have done. But then again, Yeshua got stuck paying for my failures that I should have paid for… So, once again it comes down to becoming more like Him in my actions and putting aside my agenda or desires in order to love those around me in the manner in which He first loved me. This is so much easier said than done!