Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will makeyour paths straight.

This verse was in my head today.  I don’t know why, but since it’s not about my own understanding, that’s okay.  There’s a lot I don’t understand, like why my family is stuck in this financial rut or why my husband seems so depressed and unwilling to fight or why my sons are both speech delayed.  But, trust is the foundation of a relationship, and I am learning to trust God (slowly, very slowly).  In a lot of ways my relationship with YHWH is starting from scratch because I feel like I barely know Him.  And building trust, actually acting on that trust, is a major part of this.

The part that strikes me just now is the part about acknowledging Him in all my ways.  I’m not particularly sure what that means.  Other uses for the word here include to be aware, to consider, to discover, to find, to recognize or realize, to take notice.  So, I think that it means that as I live, in everything I do, I should be aware of God’s presence and hand in my life, I should consider His word as I make decisions, I should recognize or find His hand moving and directing me, and take notice of the amazing things He does and has done in the past.  If I can see my circumstances surrounded by and saturated by His understanding, His hand, and His plan, then my path will be more closely aligned with what He has for me.

Maybe easier said than done, but the only part I need to do is TRUST and ACKNOWLEDGE Him in and through everything else that I do.

Psalm 119:73

(YOD) Your hands have made me and fashioned me; Give me understanding that I may learn Your commandments.

The word for made is ‘asah.  I’ve always thought of this as God putting me together and forming me, but it’s more than that.  Asah “is a verb that usually means a deliberate action with distinct purpose” [1].  I was put together deliberately with a distinct purpose in mind.  The word for fashioned means to prepare or to direct, establish, and make ready.  His hands deliberately and carefully crafted me (and you) for a specific purpose for which he prepares me!

The second half of this asks God to give understanding (to teach him – remember in Hebrew, teaching is an active process of practice, not just accumulating knowledge) so that he is trained (as in training for war) God’s commands (it would be interesting to know what the difference is between all the different words for commands – I can think of at least 3 distinct words).

God made me to know and obey His commands.  They were around long before I was formed, and are an integral part of creation.  To fulfill the purpose for which I was fashioned, I need to learn to live according to His commands.  It’s His purpose, so it’s done His way.  And, since God isn’t one to just dump knowledge into my head (although He could certainly do it that way), I have to practice and train deliberately.  Living God’s commandments is a day-by-day, step-by-step, choice-by-choice hands-on instructional process.   I would say, though, that the part about giving understanding is important, too, because when your paradigm shifts it can be pretty confusing.

So what’s the point?  What should I do as a result of this verse?  Well, knowing that I am made for a reason (and not just random, accidental chance) reminds me to live purposefully, seeking His path.  And continuing to learn His commands will help me be obedient to Him.  It also helps me to remember that God made my children purposefully.  Even my little one with autism is formed and fashion deliberately with a distinct purpose.  I may not understand it, but that’s not my job.  My job is to remember His faithfulness, and learn His commandments so I can also teach my children to walk in His paths, choosing to obey Him with a grateful heart.

[1] Moen, Skip. “Getting It Done.” 2009. Today’s Word. 02 August 2010 <http://skipmoen.com/?s=asah&x=0&y=0>.

Ah, sabbath. Let me tell you, it’s a lot easier to talk about rest than it is to actually rest.   My husband almost had to go in to work, I had to clean out the refrigerator (certainly not by choice, but life happened), and because of that the trash had to go out.  For the most part, it was restful.  And, best of all, the entire family got to go hear Skip Moen speak at the church where I occasionally lead worship in Ocoee!  That part was awesome!  We’re actually going back this morning to the 9am and 11am services to hear part 2 and 3 of his talk.  It’ll be interesting to see how the little monkeys hold up to the second service since it starts (and ends) so late.  I suspect they’ll be fine, but will be pretty darn tired (and hungry) on the ride home.  Ah well.

So, I started reading two books yesterday (yes, I do read two; it’s the add/multi-tasker in me): Hearing God (Dallas Walker) and Pagan Christianity (Frank Viola and George Barna).  Both are very interesting.  Here are some thoughts about chapter 1 of Hearing God:

God’s Will

One thing I liked is how Willard describes God’s will.  As a parent I may tell my kids to go and play.  I don’t tell them what room to play in or with what toys or in what manner (although I do expect them to play nicely).  God’s will is similar.  God doesn’t always micromanage life.  Sure, there are some times when He is very specific, especially when there’s a particular purpose He wants accomplished, but He just expects us to live according to His Torah.  Just keep living until He says otherwise.  Abraham spent three years between the times when God talked to him.  In that time, he just lived.

Also, building on something Willard said later in the chapter, God builds character in us so that we know how to “play” appropriately and nicely with others.  As He shapes me to be more like Him, my character and actions are more like His, and I think more like Him.  Therefore, I am more likely to do things in a manner which pleases Him.  I’m also more likely to know what and where His will is happening because I’m more like Him.  And that comes through the tough process of reshaping my character.

Strain

One of my favorite things in this chapter, that I liked so much I read it to John, is a story he told about a time when he was under a lot of strain and one day God told him to pull his car over.  God said, “My Son had strains that you will never know, and when He had those strains, He turned to Me, and that’s what you should do.”

Several thoughts occurred to me about that quote:

First, I think I tend to assume I know the strains that Yeshua endured because we have the “gospels” about His life.  But, if I really think about it, there’s an awful lot missing from the gospels about His life.  He lived a lot more than what we have there.  There were probably a lot of times when Yeshua was strained that none of the gospel authors wrote about.

Second, I need to stop trying to solve everything myself.  I need to remember to let God be god.  I wasn’t made to carry everything myself.  I need to remember to turn to Him for help.  And occasionally, turn to others in my community, too.  I’ve realized that this is an area I struggle in.  I’m okay at turning to God, but I really struggle with letting other people help me/us out.  I don’t know if it’s pride, or if it’s awkward because I feel like I owe them something, or what it is, but I have a tough time with this.  For example, Skip’s putting together a cruise for the people who read Today’s Word and I posted that I didn’t think we could go.  Ostensibly my excuse is the boys (and yes, it makes me a little nauseous thinking about them getting close to the rails), but truthfully, we just can’t afford to pay for4 (or even 2) of us to go.  I didn’t post that part because I don’t want people to think I’m asking them to pay for us to go.  Yes, it would be nice to be able to go, but because it always seems to be the financial aspect that holds us back, I don’t want to raise the issue again.  It’s probably pride.  I don’t know.

And last, knowing God’s will cannot be about controlling the future or minimizing risk.  Desiring to control the future or minimize rise or secure safety/comfort may indicate a preoccupation with ME, instead of a focus on God.

Numbers 12: 3-8

Now the man Moses was very meek, more than all people who were on the face of the earth.^…6And he said, “Hear my words: If there is a prophet among you, I the LORD make myself known to him in a vision; I speak with him in a dream. ⁷Not so with my servant Moses. He is faithful in all my house. ⁸With him I speak mouth to mouth, clearly, and not in riddles, and he beholds the form of the LORD. Why then were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?”

Miriam and Aaron had questioned Moses’ relationship with God because he had married a non-Jewish woman (he did this after leaving Egypt and prior to the “burning bush” incident).  An interesting point is made here.  First, if Moses did indeed write Numbers, then he was making these points about himself… which must have felt a little awkward.   But anyway, God tells Miriam and Aaron that Moses is the most faithful servant in His house.  When God speaks to prophets He comes in dreams, visions, and riddles.  But when God speaks to Moses it’s clear and face to face.  Clearly they had a remarkable and special relationship!

You’d think having that kind of relationship, one that no one else had, would make Moses proud of his position and “rank” with God.  But, no, Moses was the meekest man alive.  Meek in Hebrew doesn’t mean just humble.  It implies that he had power but had chosen not to use it in order to submit to another.  Moses was meek because he clearly had the ear of God and God had granted him power, but he chose not to use it to lord over others.  Instead, he “domesticated” it.  He submitted himself to God’s will, only using his gifts as God chose.  He was probably also keenly aware of how insignificant man is in relationship to God’s power and might, especially since he literally saw God’s form on a regular basis.  He knew that no matter how unique his relationship with God may be, he was completely undeserving.

Why does it matter?  Well, if I have any power, it should be submitted to God and His will, instead of being used to further my goals and ambitions.  And I should continually remember that it is by GRACE alone that I am allowed in the presence of the Almighty God.  Pretty tough lessons to learn.  But, I think that the more I am able to do that, the closer I will be to the heart of God.  And that’s where I want to be.

There was a question someone asked on a blog about predestination vs. free choice.  I don’t think I have all the answers, but I thought I’d share the way I think of it.  First, let me preface with saying that this is my opinion.  You may not agree and that’s okay.  Also, I think that my/our idea of what it means for God to be omniscient is too small (I used to think he just knows one branch and that’s all there was).

I think of my life like a really HUGE tree (we each have one, but if you try to imagine knowing all of them it’ll make your head hurt). Each choice represents a place where the current branch splits and I can choose another branch.  My life starts at the base of the tree and as I age I move closer and closer to the outside of the tree.

G-d sees the entire tree.  He knows every branch the tree makes, so no matter what choice or branch I choose, He’s been there and has seen every contingency/choice I could make from that point, too. And, since He made the tree, He can make new branches grow to suit His purpose. Are you still following me?  It’s not, in my view, that I only have one path from the bottom of the tree to the edge, but many, and no matter what I choose, God already knows all the options from that point and knows how to make things work for Him purposes.

So, yes, I have a choice which branch to take, but no matter what branch I take, G-d already know all my options from that point out. He sees every option/choice for every situation I encounter. As I make decisions, the ones I don’t take fall away. It’s kind of complicated to try and explain. I can see it in my head. It’s predestination and choice all mixed up in one, sort of. But explaining it is like explaining eternity (I’ve tried to do that before… to explain the vision I had of it, but it’s pretty darn hard to put into words).

What about pharoah or Judas?  I don’t know.  Obviously, someone had to be the “bad guy.”  It could be that God knew their hearts and because they had chosen to become greedy or bitter their choices narrowed to a more predictable point.  I believe that if Judas, for example, had made a different choice – chosen to do the right thing – then someone else would have been the betrayer because God’s purposes needed to be fulfilled.  Sadly for Judas he made his choice and the rest is history.  Does that mean God can’t direct people or harden their hearts or whatever?  Nope.  He’s God.  Maybe He directs some lives more than others.  Maybe I’m off my rocker a mile and a half in my view.

Ultimately, how I think of God’s omniscience or predestination or free choice is pretty darn irrelevant.  It is what it is, even if I don’t understand it.  That’s God’s job.  I just live and seek and obey.  Maybe it’s me, but that’s enough.  I don’t have to know it all.  Knowing isn’t going to change anything.

Does your head hurt?  Mine sometimes feels like it’ll explode.  I get these images in my head, or impressions, and it’s hard to put them into words (like this one or like eternity).  Why must they always be the concepts that are so big?  But that’s okay.  It’s still an interesting thought.

Blessings!

And came here.  This is a look at what sin really is, in light of the context of the verse.  Interesting.  But I kept reading…

I read through an interesting  look at what Peter meant when he spoke of a weaker vessel and came…

HERE.  This caught my attention.  It’s a seemingly small thing, but the question at the end: What is it about planting and placing that is essential to the purposes of God? really made me stop.  Skip reexamines a very familiar passage from the creation story, noting that Adam was placed in the garden by God.  You read right past that, too, didn’t you?  Sunday school and tradition teach that Adam was created in the garden… but the implications of this is that he was created somewhere else and put in the garden by God for a purpose.  Wow.  I clearly do not read the Bible nearly as carefully as I thought.  If you want to really think, read the post (it’s not long, I promise) and then read through some of the comments (okay, these are long).  This is a question that I hope Skip followed up on.

Psalm 11:4

But the LORD is in his holy Temple; the LORD still rules from heaven. He watches everything closely, examining everyone on earth.

In teaching American Literature I’ve learned that there is a mindset that believes that God made the earth and then just left it to run itself – the “Clockmaker God.  But this verse clearly disputed that belief.   The Rationalists during the Colonial times didn’t see God at work around them and dismissed the Puritan notion that God could be seen in and through every event in life.  They came from  Puritan roots, but either didn’t read or didn’t believe in the Bible.  Maybe Psalms weren’t part of their Bible.  If they had read more carefully, they would have noticed that God is closely involved in activity throughout the Bible.  I don’t think He would have had such a hand in Biblical times and then just bowed out once He got to the 1700s.  But, there again we see the limits of man’s rationality and logic.  We build arguments of straw on foundations of sand.

Personally, I like to think that God is still at work around me.  There’s sense of relief to know that I don’t control everything.  Sure, I have a hand in my life and in my world because God gave me choice and free will, but the world isn’t operating purely on its own.  It’s easy to feel like God’s not there though, sometimes.  It’s especially challenging to see Him at work in our nation today.  There are so many things that are contrary to His will and His desires that it’s hard to imagine how He could be in that and allow that.  But I suppose that since He gives free will, He also allows the consequences of our decisions.  And He’s totally capable of stepping in at any point and stopping the play clock.

From Skip Moen’s post “The Anguish of God”:

Even in our religious moments, we still want control.

Wow, isn’t that the truth.  I think most of humanity’s problems stem from this one issue.  We want control.  But our control is not a good thing.  God’s control is.  Most of my stupid decisions come from wanting control and feeling I need control.  But God asks me to relinquish this control and allow Him to work and move in a way that may seem out-of-control because it’s not my way of doing things.  That’s hard for us control freaks here on  earth to do.  That’s something I need to work on.

Christ in Me
by Max Lucado

Like Mary, you and I are indwelt by Christ.

Find that hard to believe? How much more did Mary? No one was more surprised by this miracle than she was. And no one more passive than she was. God did everything. Mary didn’t volunteer to help. (emphasis added) What did she have to offer? She offered no assistance.

And she offered no resistance. Instead she said, “Behold, the bond- slave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38).

Unlike Mary, we tend to assist God, assuming our part is as important as his. Or we resist, thinking we are too bad or too busy. Yet when we assist or resist, we miss God’s great grace. We miss out on the reason we were placed on earth-to be so pregnant with heaven’s child that he lives through us. To be so full of him that we could say with Paul, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.” (Gal. 2:20)

What would that be like? To have a child within is a miracle, but to have Christ within?

To have my voice, but him speaking.
My steps, but Christ leading.
My heart, but his love beating
in me, through me, with me.
What’s it like to have Christ on the inside?

To tap his strength when mine expires
or feel the force of heaven’s fires
raging, purging wrong desires.
Could Christ become my self entire?

So much him, so little me
That in my eyes it’s him they see.
What’s it like to a Mary be?
No longer I, but Christ in me.

From Next Door Savior
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2003) Max Lucado

Very cool, no?  I love that Mary didn’t try to “help” God accomplish His will.  She let Him do what He said He would do.  There are many times when I need to stop trying to help God and just let Him work.  Otherwise my way just gets in the way.

My other thought that I thought I’d share is that yesterday someone reminded me not to complain but to always be thankful.  I didn’t react very well at the time, but it did make me think last night.  While I am very thankful for what I have, and I do express that a lot, I also tend to complain a lot.  So, in light of the new year, I think I’m going to make an effort to complain less.  I’m also going to try and be thankful for what I don’t have (that was a thought that just hit me right now).  Being thankful for what I don’t have is a little tougher, but when I don’t have what I want, or even what I think I need, doesn’t that give God a chance to do awesome things?

Just a thought.

Matthew 6:8

Don’t be like them, because your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!

My favorite word here is BEFORE.  He knows before we ask anything.  The verse before this says that we don’t have to say the same words or make the same request over and over and over (although the woman who was persistent later on was rewarded with healing) because God already knows what we need.  Now, another important word is the word NEED.  It’s not about what we want.  It’s about what we need.  So, if you want that new car but don’t really need it, that’s a different matter.  But God knows that we need food and we need shelter and we need to be healthy to work and take care of our families.  He knows we need Him, whether we’ll admit it or not, too.

I think it’s reassuring that God’s got it covered.  It doesn’t hurt to ask, but I know I forget that God already has my back and knows these things, so I don’t have to beg.  It’s like with my kids.  I know what they need, for the most part, and I’m happy to give them what they need.  They don’t get everything they want because, frankly, playing with the scissors or chewing on the electronics is not safe.

And sometimes they don’t get what they want or need because it’s not ready yet.  For example, at night I make them chicken fingers (yes, it’s sad, but my oldest won’t eat anything else, and I refuse to starve him into eating), and it’s really hard for them to wait.  But I can’t serve them frozen chicken.  So, yes, they need to eat, but they do have to wait until it’s ready.  It’s the same way in life.  Sometimes those things we need aren’t “ready” yet and that’s why we don’t get them right away when we want them.  And sometimes the things we want aren’t safe so we don’t get them at all… but if God is anything like me, maybe He’ll try a redirect and give you something else that you can have instead!

Who knew being a child of God was so much like being a mom!