From 7/18 – my computer kept crashing, so I gave up trying for the day. :) It was one of those days…. Psalm 119:25 My soul clings to the dust; Revive me according to Your word. Psalm 119:28 My soul melts from heaviness; Strengthen me according to Your word. This is how I feel today. Yesterday was one of those days where I wished I could have crawled back in bed and started over afresh. Everything seemed to go sideways! Of course, looking back, maybe God was trying to do something, and I completely missed it! That would kind of be icing on the cake… I tend to be pretty schedule-oriented and yesterday nothing went according to “the plan.” I need to remember that Kairos time interrupts my plans, and when it does I need to remember to look more closely at what’s going on, instead of getting frustrated. Anyway, these two verses are surprisingly similar. I wish I knew what the pictoral meaning of Daleth is, since that’s the letter that this portion of the psalm falls into. Anyway, there were a couple of things I found interesting: 1. The Hebrew word for dust in verse 25 also means garbage/trash. So the author realizes that his being (nephesh) clings to garbage. How often do I do the same thing! Like my schedule… Hmmmm. I hold onto things that are passing and, truly, worthless in light of greater things. Verse 28 is more literally saying that my being (nephesh again) drops or drips from sorrow/grief/heaviness. The load is too much to carry; my being (even my spirit) is about to collapse. I wonder if this kind of sorrow/grief can be over the blindness of the world around the author? I wonder if it applies to the state of the church. There are certainly days when I am overwhelmed by what I’m learning, and even some days when I wish I’d never stepped out onto this path. Ignorance is bliss, in theory. 2. There are two qualities of God’s words that are mentioned here: the ability to revive and the ability to strengthen. To revive is to give it life again, to restore life or prosperity to something or to refresh it. At the beginning of the book of John, it says that the Word is God, so (as one of my friends pointed out), this is also a quality of God! It certainly sounds like something He loves to do. He gives back life as it was meant to be (that doesn’t mean it’ll always be a cake walk), He refreshes (maybe that breath of fresh air is the breath of YHWH breathing life again to refresh you)! He makes all things new, restoring life! Strengthen is to establish, endure, persist, to confirm, to fulfill. Again, all things that God is. He endures, as does His word, so through Him I am able to endure or persist, even when I’m overwhelmed. His word confirms His plan for us, giving me the ability to trust Him. And He fulfills His Words because He is true, and again, that enables me to trust Him more. He is the rock, and strong and mighty fortress. When I stand in Him, I am strong because He is strong. I’m LOVING this Psalm!
Psalm 42:11 Why am I discouraged? Why so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again– my Savior and my God! It’s kind of strange how it’s so easy to get discouraged. Maybe it’s the weather (it’s stormy this morning). Maybe there are just so many people who feel the need to poke holes in my dreams (some of the holes are quite legitimate). This school project I’m working on is so huge that sometimes it seems overwhelmingly impossible that it will ever get off the ground. But, God is bigger than my storms and bigger than all my limitations. He is wiser than I am and knows far more than I do about what resources He has available. When I get discouraged I try to remember that God is not always predictable because then why would I need faith? It’s hard to cling to something invisible, especially when I’m trusting Him for something that’s so dear to my heart. On the other hand, what other choices do I have? I can’t trust in my own abilities, even though I want to work as hard as I can. There’s so much I don’t know. Trust other people? They’re just as limited as I am. Sure, God can work through them and through me, and He often does, but ultimately the answer will come from Him and His resources.
Zechariah 8:6 This is what the LORD Almighty says: All this may seem impossible to you now, a small and discouraged remnant of God’s people. But do you think this is impossible for me, the LORD Almighty? I feel a little bit like the remnant sometimes. I feel small and discouraged by the circumstances of my life. Last Sunday was one of those days. I was frustrated by some of the events that had happened and discouraged by life. The hope of God’s promises seemed really impossible and it seemed like we’d never get out of the situation we’re in. There always seems to be a glimmer of hope on the horizon, but it never seems to get any closer. I was overwhelmed and felt incredibly small compared to the craziness and circumstances of what is going on around me. But God reminded me of His faithfulness, first through a song by Israel Houghton called “Everywhere That I Go.” Here are the lyrics from the chorus: You promised me, you’ll never leave You promised me, I’m never forsaken and I believe Goodness and mercy, will follow me Surrounding me, where I go Every where that I go These words are incredibly comforting because they remind me that God NEVER leaves, He NEVER gives up, He NEVER fails to keep His promises. He never makes pie-crust promises (those promises that are easily made, easily broken… as Mary Poppins would say). Everywhere that I go, He is there, surrounding me with His great LOVE! So, what seems like it would be impossible and has over time seemed like it will never end, is not impossible for God. He never leaves me stuck here, He never gives up on me, and He never fails to keep His promises. Is it impossible? For me, yes. For God, no. I still get discouraged and feel tiny compared to my overwhelming circumstances, but this (and God’s continual reminders through music) helps me to stay focused on the fact that God is SO much bigger than my storm and SO much more able to do the impossible than I can imagine. I certainly don’t know the future, but I do know that He’s already been there and already knows the best path to take to get there. And in the end, if I get there holding His hand, then no matter what life throws at me, He will lead me in His presence and eventually all those promises will be true.
I need to preface the verses today with a small comment: I woke up this morning struggling not to worry about our finances this next school year. I found out that we won’t be getting our annual cost-of-living raise (no surprise there), but they would be increasing our insurance rates, again. As it is, we struggle to make ends meet, and the prospect of having our income cut even more is a little overwhelming. So, this was the burden of my heart as I sat down this morning. And here is what God gave me: Philippians 4: 4, 6-7, 13 Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again – rejoice!… Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus…For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need. I can see God up there smiling as I read this morning. These verses aren’t anything new. I even have them memorized. But, for them to be part of what I’m reading this morning, when I’m trying not to worry, when I have a great need, when I greatly need peace, and when I have no idea how to be strong, is such a huge affirmation that God does care about my feelings and about the situations that I find myself in. So, I will find joy in Him, I will thank him for His many blessings (and they are numerous), and I will tell Him what I need (or what I think I need). He knows, He cares, and He’s got all the resources of this universe and millions of others at His fingertips. He sends rain to thirsty flowers and gives food to hungry birds. How much more does He love me and take care of me? I can’t decide if I want to laugh or cry. Yeah God!
Jeremiah 10:23-24 I know, Lord, that a person’s life is not his own. No one is able to plan his own course. So correct me, Lord, but please be gentle. Do not correct me in anger, for I would die. Ok, I know you’re thinking, what does food poisoning have to do with anything? Nothing, really, except that it’s my excuse for not posting anything yesterday. I know it wasn’t a punishment or anything, but boy, it would have been effective! I’m still reeling from it (and so is my husband – it sure was fun taking care of two little boys when we had food poisoning!). Anyways, I thought this verse was perfect for those times when I feel like I’ve been living in the desert because I’m living the consequences of my poor decisions. (Interesting aside: while writing I debated about whether to write “poor” or “bad” decisions. I chose “poor” because it sounded more proper and less harsh, but really, the decisions are just plain bad.) I know that correction is necessary. I discipline my children whether I like it or not, because it’s necessary to keep them safe and to show them the proper way to interact with the world. They hate it. My oldest son (who just turned two) starts screaming and throws himself on the floor when he is fussed at or disciplined in any way. It takes about 5 minutes and then he’ll come over and want to snuggle, but initially he is really mad (or maybe upset that he disappointed us) and doesn’t want much to do with whoever disciplined him. We do that with God. I know that I’ll do something stupid, God allows the consequences of my actions to catch up with me, and I get mad at Him for doing it. Thankfully, God loves us and doesn’t just throw up His hands in disgust. So, my prayer, like Jeremiah’s, is for God to be gentle in His correction and not correct me in anger, because I am just a small human and cannot stand up to the wrath of God. Right now, I think I’m feeling the consequences of my actions (no, not the food poisoning, the financial spot we’re in). It’s been really, really hard. But, like I put in my last post, I’m not going to look back at the reasons I am here (I already know those reasons and don’t need to sit here rehashing them over and over and over); I am going to look ahead and try to learn from my mistakes so that I can move forward, hopefully out of correction and in a new direction. Lord, be gentle, please!
Isaiah 36-37In this piece of history, the king of Assyria is threatening Israel. He plans of laying siege to Jerusalem and ultimately destroying it, taking the people captive. He sends a message to the people (not really to the king) saying, “Don’t trust your king. He broke your God’s altars in the fields and makes you worship only in Jerusalem so your God is angry and won’t help. I have destroyed countless other nations bigger and stronger than you. Surrender now and I won’t kill you all, I’ll help you move to a greener pasture….” His promises are pretty, and he puts enough of a spin on it to discourage the people. The people (amazingly enough) are silent and Hezekiah sends to Isaiah for God’s version. God replies that He will make the king think he’s needed at home, make him want to go home, and there by murdered by the sword. (That’s pretty specific!) And, after a few more boasts, the king receives word that another king is coming to fight him at home, God sends a plague at night and kills 185,000 men, and the king goes home where his two sons kill him with a sword while he’s worshiping in his temple. A couple of things hit me when I read the story. First, I thought that the king of Assyria knew an awful lot about Israel and their worshiping habits. But, I believe that he was wrong on the point that God was angry at Hezekiah for removing the high places in the fields where people would worship. That was something you hear over and over that the other kings failed to do. So, while it may have been okay for the Assyrian king’s god that people worshiped wherever they wanted, God wanted the people to worship in Jerusalem. At least, that’s how I understand it. It seems there’d be less chance of the traditions getting warped and twisted into things that weren’t meant to be. Second, if I had been in Jerusalem the king’s offer might have seemed pretty tempting. Surrender and don’t die, or stay there and starve to death or get stabbed. But the Israelites really had to trust God. They had to know that He was bigger than all that mess. Instead of listening to men, Hezekiah went to God. It’s like when the people all around are saying, “You can’t do it that way. You should do it this way.” Or be like us or whatever it is they’re whispering in your ears. Instead of taking them at their word, we should take it to God. When Israel did this they got a very specific message from God about what would happen. Our answer may not be as particular, but He will answer if we actually listen for an answer. So, instead of being discouraged and giving up, they sought God’s perspective. He responds by killing 185,000 in the middle of the night and sending the king home to be killed by his own sons (that’s pretty sad when your children know you so little that they don’t care about you). He saves the day, saves the people, and once again proves that He is God and He will not be mocked, taunted, or tested by foreign kings who worship false Gods. Application? Like I said, don’t be discouraged by the words of people around you. Ask God for His perspective and guidance. Often lies are told with kernels of truth (they’re more believable that way), so don’t take it all at face value. God will not be mocked. He loves you. He is love. He has promises that He will keep because to break those promises would be to not be Himself. Seek God’s truth instead of the world’s lies (even those spoken by well-meaning friends, family, and Christ-followers). His plans are good.