My mornings are running short, again. Here’s my response to a post by Skip Moen. Can you sense my frustration? I want to be obedient, and I want to figure out the Truth, as opposed to tradition. I don’t even know where to start. Even when it comes to reading the Bible, right now I don’t know where to read. It’s an aimless wandering, and that bothers me. The wilderness is SO huge, and I feel lost in it. Skip’s post: Identification Marks My response: I think a lot of us are in that place where the Messiah has overthrown our entrenched beliefs. This leaves us (me, at least) staggering, trying to rethink, relearn, realize the Truth (as opposed to the traditions that have been created, that we have grown up with since childhood). Yesterday I sat in church (yes, I still go) and compared the sermon (all about giving generously and God’s blessing for believers) with Skip’s post (about how believers are punished to bring them into alignment with the family requirements and how being a Christ-follower isn’t all roses and cash prizes – okay, that was my interpretation). There are some times when I enjoy what is said and it does come relatively close to the things I’m learning. And then there are times when I laugh and think, “How can you cherry pick which parts of the Old Testament count?” I grew up a missionary kid, so those entrenched beliefs were driven in deep… and pulling them up by the roots is a tough job. The question is, when the bed is clean and the soil ready, what is the Truth to be planted? And how does the garden grow properly so it becomes the beautiful thing it was meant to be? I think a lot of us are in that place where the Messiah has overthrown our entrenched beliefs. This leaves us (me, at least) staggering, trying to rethink, relearn, realize the Truth (as opposed to the traditions that have been created, that we have grown up with since childhood). Yesterday I sat in church (yes, I still go) and compared the sermon (all about giving generously and God’s blessing for believers) with Skip’s post (about how believers are punished to bring them into alignment with the family requirements and how being a Christ-follower isn’t all roses and cash prizes – okay, that was my interpretation). There are some times when I enjoy what is said and it does come relatively close to the things I’m learning. And then there are times when I laugh and think, “How can you cherry pick which parts of the Old Testament count?” I grew up a missionary kid, so those entrenched beliefs were driven in deep… and pulling them up by the roots is a tough job. The question is, when the bed is clean and the soil ready, what is the Truth to be planted? And how does the garden grow properly so it becomes the beautiful thing it was meant to be?
One thing I’ve found as I’ve searched and explored is that I’m no longer certain about some of the beliefs I thought I was certain about. I no longer completely understand how some things fit together, nor do I understand how to do many of the things that I thought were basic. The conflict between my western/Greek theology and the Hebrew theology that I am learning is so great that I feel like I walk on egg shells. How far does God’s grace extend? Does he understand that I am trying my hardest to be obedient to Him, to worship Him the way He wants to be worshiped, to pray the way He wants to me to pray, and to live the way He wants me to live? If I get it wrong, does His grace take into account how much I want to get it right but don’t know how because it’s been jumbled in 2000 years of politics and confusion? I sure hope so. There is really only one thing I do know for sure: YHWH is God. He is ONE. The only one. I also know that Yeshua came as a man and died and rose again for me, to repair the relationship that was severed in the garden. And I know that the Torah is my act of obedience in response to Him. It doesn’t save me (only God’s graciously attributing righteousness to me can do that), but it shows me how to live as a citizen of His kingdom. I helps me be “set apart” from the world. Beyond that, I’m a little confused and uncertain. I don’t know how singing praises fits in to all of this, and I don’t know how sacrifices and such fit in so long ago, and I don’t know how these things that seem to attack my brother-in-law and husband fit it, and I don’t know how to apply a lot of the things I’m learning. Sometimes I wish the answer was more obvious.
Mark 9:22b-24 … But if You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!” And Jesus said to him, ” ‘If You can?’ All things are possible to him who believes.” Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said, ”I do believe; help my unbelief.” I am so much like this boy’s father. I believe in my mind. I know all things are possible. However, translating my head knowledge into action is often quite difficult. This has been especially apparent recently with all the craziness surrounding my new job. I know that God has always been faithful in the past, yet I struggle not to freak out wondering if or how He’ll come through again in this situation. ”Silly rabbit!” In my honesty, my cry is the same as this father’s, “I do believe! Help my unbelief!” Seems like it would be contradictory, but there’s a huge gap between head knowledge and acting on that knowledge. I may know the bridge is sound because everyone tells me it is, but I truly believe them if I step out onto it and walk across. One step at a time. (Read Skip Moen’s post on this verse)
Not everyone I know likes Skip Moen’s digging and teaching and viewpoint, but he makes a point in his post today that really states why I am so fascinated by his understanding: When we read Scripture, we enter the world of Hebrew culture. The more we are able to grasp that view of reality, the better we are able to worship the God revealed in Hebrew thought. That is the answer to my “Why?” question. Why learn about Hebrew culture and try to understand the writers as they were when they wrote it, including the actual Hebrew of the text and the idioms and other metaphors that play such a huge role in Hebrew? To know God better. I believe that Yeshua died to cover what ritual sacrifice couldn’t cover – purposeful sins. In covering these sins He also removed the guilt of the unintented/unintentional sin that had previously been dealt with through animal sacrifice. I believe it’s by grace that we receive this forgiveness, through believing that He is who He says He is and choosing to make Him lord of my life. I believe that studying His word, and possibly even following the commands in the Torah (there are only about 20 that are even relevant today), are acts of worship and obedience that come out of my choice to serve God as my liege Lord. My obedience makes me useful to His kingdom purposes, which is to restore what was perfect and was lost in the Garden – the relationship between God and man. Does that mean I am not useful if I don’t follow the commands of Torah (which we only partially do today – yes, we are partially Torah observant in that we believe in one God, we don’t worship idols – unless you count money I guess)? No. I can still be used. Look at the many, many people in history that God has used in HUGE ways even if they didn’t understand or agree with the link between the Old Testament and the New – Mother Teresa, Billy Graham, Martin Luther, etc. But, if they had understood, how much greater an impact could they have had? One of the books that I want to read is called, Constantine’s Bible. It’s about the changes that were solidified in the Messianic Jewish (aka Christian) church in order to separate it from the Jewish synagogues and make it the “official” religion. Most of what we consider Christian today actually came out of the changes made by Constantine. And, according to most scholars (Christian and secular), most of what we consider Christian is actually based on pagan rites and rituals. Ultimately, God is God and will do as He chooses. He knows the heart of man and searches and examines it to see its true motivation. For those of us who have lived out lives in the Christian church, never exposed to the idea that maybe some of the stuff in the Old Testament actually applies still, I can’t believe God would penalize us for that. And I don’t think He’s shaking His head. He is sovereign and as such He can use whatever He wants and do whatever He wants. He is my God despite my imperfections. I want to know Him more and understand Him better. And I do that in the only way I know how… I learn, I read, I listen, I pray. And somewhere along the way, my thoughts get sorted out, and I develop a larger and clearer picture of who I am, and more importantly, who He is.
Matthew 13:57 And they were deeply offended and refused to believe in him. Then Jesus told them, “A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his own family.” I wonder if the people in his hometown were jealous of Him? Here is says they were offended that Jesus could teach so well. Did they feel like He was acting “above his station”? How often does my jealousy or resentment keep me from doing things or believing a point that Jesus made? For example, I know Jesus can do things but I often have a hard time believing that He will do it for me. I see how He’s done it for others, but when I compare what they have with what I perceive that I have, I come up short. And since I don’t see that He’s done it for me, I have a hard time believing that He will do it for me. Even if He’s promised in His Word. Does that make sense? This is especially prevalent when it comes to money and God’s promises about that. I read Robert Morris’ book The Blessed Life when my church did a series on him and I struggled to believe that God would follow through on the promises that Robert Morris brings up in his book (they’re in the Bible, but Morris points to them for support of his points). I wonder if part of my struggle is that I read about all the stories he tells of times when God has followed through in amazing ways, but I fail to see God’s hand working in similar ways in my life (even though He’s working in more subtle ways, I think). So in my jealousy of their stories I disbelieve or discount that Jesus will do what He says He’ll do and then that hinders God’s work in me and in my life. That’s kind of confusing, but it makes me think…. On a completely unrelated string… It mentions Jesus 4 brothers and an unspecified number of sisters. That means that Mary must have had at least 7 children (including Jesus)! I always thought of her as having a couple of children and that’s it, but she had a lot of children! Can you imagine being Jesus’ sibling?! “James, why can’t you be perfect like Jesus?” LOL! I’m not sure if that would have been amazing or frustrating.