Jeremiah 15: 16 Your words are what sustain me. They bring me great joy and are my heart’s delight, for I bear your name, O Lord God Almighty. All through the book of Jeremiah, God is telling Jeremiah about the punishment that Israel will incur because they have turned so totally away from God. Jeremiah usually responds either by asking God for protection and mercy or by reminding God how he is totally dependent on Him. There are times when he is confused by he is suffering along with the people, and times when he is frustrated because everyone hates him (since his message of destruction is so unpopular – can’t imagine why). In this part of the chapter he goes on to ask why his wound (?) is so incurable and why God’s help seems so uncertain. God says to return to Him and be restored (was Jeremiah influenced by the corruption around him? Or did he not want to tell Israel the words of God? I don’t know). Anyhow, I liked this verse. Jeremiah’s word of God was literally the spoken word of God. Our word of God is the written word of God. We get it second hand, but Jeremiah had it straight from His mouth. How powerful that must have been! I know that when I’m hurting or upset, and I read my Bible, I’m hoping to read something that will encourage or uplift me or remind me of God’s love and faithfulness and promises. If just reading that brings hope, I can only imagine what it must be like to hear that straight out of the mouth of God! Talk about affirmation! Jeremiah talks about bearing God’s name. I’m not entirely sure what he means by that. To bear something means to carry it or to survive it (as in, I can hardly bear to hear that said). He carried the words of God to the people Israel, so it’s pretty likely that that’s what he meant. As Christ-followers, we bear the name (or carry the name) of Jesus, too. As we try to live the way He wants us to, we are “Jesus with skin on” to the people around us. And that should bring us joy and delight. Not because it gets us stuff, but because we are so blessed and fortunate to be loved and chosen by such an amazing God. His words sustain in time of trouble, and we find joy because we bear His name.
I need to preface the verses today with a small comment: I woke up this morning struggling not to worry about our finances this next school year. I found out that we won’t be getting our annual cost-of-living raise (no surprise there), but they would be increasing our insurance rates, again. As it is, we struggle to make ends meet, and the prospect of having our income cut even more is a little overwhelming. So, this was the burden of my heart as I sat down this morning. And here is what God gave me: Philippians 4: 4, 6-7, 13 Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again – rejoice!… Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus…For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need. I can see God up there smiling as I read this morning. These verses aren’t anything new. I even have them memorized. But, for them to be part of what I’m reading this morning, when I’m trying not to worry, when I have a great need, when I greatly need peace, and when I have no idea how to be strong, is such a huge affirmation that God does care about my feelings and about the situations that I find myself in. So, I will find joy in Him, I will thank him for His many blessings (and they are numerous), and I will tell Him what I need (or what I think I need). He knows, He cares, and He’s got all the resources of this universe and millions of others at His fingertips. He sends rain to thirsty flowers and gives food to hungry birds. How much more does He love me and take care of me? I can’t decide if I want to laugh or cry. Yeah God!
Jeremiah 10:23-24 I know, Lord, that a person’s life is not his own. No one is able to plan his own course. So correct me, Lord, but please be gentle. Do not correct me in anger, for I would die. Ok, I know you’re thinking, what does food poisoning have to do with anything? Nothing, really, except that it’s my excuse for not posting anything yesterday. I know it wasn’t a punishment or anything, but boy, it would have been effective! I’m still reeling from it (and so is my husband – it sure was fun taking care of two little boys when we had food poisoning!). Anyways, I thought this verse was perfect for those times when I feel like I’ve been living in the desert because I’m living the consequences of my poor decisions. (Interesting aside: while writing I debated about whether to write “poor” or “bad” decisions. I chose “poor” because it sounded more proper and less harsh, but really, the decisions are just plain bad.) I know that correction is necessary. I discipline my children whether I like it or not, because it’s necessary to keep them safe and to show them the proper way to interact with the world. They hate it. My oldest son (who just turned two) starts screaming and throws himself on the floor when he is fussed at or disciplined in any way. It takes about 5 minutes and then he’ll come over and want to snuggle, but initially he is really mad (or maybe upset that he disappointed us) and doesn’t want much to do with whoever disciplined him. We do that with God. I know that I’ll do something stupid, God allows the consequences of my actions to catch up with me, and I get mad at Him for doing it. Thankfully, God loves us and doesn’t just throw up His hands in disgust. So, my prayer, like Jeremiah’s, is for God to be gentle in His correction and not correct me in anger, because I am just a small human and cannot stand up to the wrath of God. Right now, I think I’m feeling the consequences of my actions (no, not the food poisoning, the financial spot we’re in). It’s been really, really hard. But, like I put in my last post, I’m not going to look back at the reasons I am here (I already know those reasons and don’t need to sit here rehashing them over and over and over); I am going to look ahead and try to learn from my mistakes so that I can move forward, hopefully out of correction and in a new direction. Lord, be gentle, please!
Numbers 17:4-5Put these staffs in the Tabernacle in front of the Ark of the Covenant, where I meet with you. Buds will sprout on the staff belonging to the man I choose. Then I will finally put an end to the murmuring and complaining against you. The context of these two verses is that the Israelites were still grumbling about Aaron’s family being the ones chosen to be priests. It seems that this was like being royalty and the people were jealous (hence Korah’s rebellion). God finally said, enough is enough. Put all the staffs, one from the leader of each tribe with his name inscribed on it, in front of me and I will show you. Well, sure enough, Aaron’s staff not only budded, it blossomed and produced almonds! That’s pretty conclusive proof of God’s will. In my life, I yearn for affirmation, especially in areas like singing/worshiping and teaching/curriculum. I’ve struggled with this for years. And, often, God gives me affirmation from people, just not always from whom I want it. I greatly desire to see myself the way God sees me because I know He affirms me and has given me the gifts I have. I think it’s a lot like a woman’s desire to know she is beautiful. Every woman (I think) has a desire to know she is beautiful and wanted. We express it different ways, but it’s there. For me, I expressed it in modeling (when I was in college). But, now I have the love of an incredible God who has given me the love of an incredible man. I know I am beautiful in their eyes and that is enough… but I still want to know I do well in these other areas, that what I do matters. I seek the acknowledgement of this from people around me and in authority over me. Why is it not enough to know that God gave me gifts and therefore they are good? I don’t know. There is a song called “Royalty” by Alberto and Kimberly Rivera that basically expresses how God sees me and it’s an amazing song. The first time I heard it, I cried. I will try and post the lyrics one of these days soon, but I don’t have time today. It speaks to the longing in my heart to know I am important and good and lovely and valuable. Affirmation from God. And I still pray to see myself through God’s eyes, instead of seeking to find myself in the eyes of others.