I am formed of sand and struggle I am smoothed by raging seas I am a pearl of great value As I become what He wants me to be. I bought a cheap necklace with a pearl charm at Wal-Mart a while back, and I was thinking about some of the reasons I bought it. The main one was to remind me that I am of value to my creator. But, He is also a pearl of great value. Perhaps He is echoed in my life after all.
There’s a showdown at high noon; It’s all over town. The enemy’s shaking; He’s gonna go down! 1 Chro 29:11 ”Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, indeed everything that is in the heavens and the earth; Yours is the dominion, O LORD, and You exalt Yourself as head over all. Psalm 20:5 We will sing for joy over your victory, And in the name of our God we will set up our banners. May the LORD fulfill all your petitions. Psalm 98:1 A Psalm. O sing to the LORD a new song, For He has done wonderful things, His right hand and His holy arm have gained the victory for Him. Proverbs 21:3 The horse is prepared for the day of battle, But victory belongs to the LORD. 1 Corinthians 15:57 but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
These are thoughts in light of the current state of affairs in life. It was part of a longer post, but the beginning of the post is repetitive, so I cut it. In the Wilds It’s a chance to truly walk by faith. What else can I do? Out in this wilderness there isn’t any food except what God provides from heaven. And there isn’t any water if He doesn’t open a rock. There is nothing but thorns and rocks, and my feet hurt from stumbling. Yet, in the sunrise there is brilliant color painted across the sky. And there is laughter as my children play with the tumbleweed and examine the delicate patterns embedded in the stones. There is a cool breeze caressing my cheek that whispers “remember His faithfulness.” And there is a stillness and a quiet, where, over the pounding of my heart and the tears in my eyes, I am not alone. I will learn to hear, and to wait, and to walk. But mostly, I will learn He is Holy and sovereign and faithful. Hear, Obey, my child. YHWH is GOD, He is One. And I am not alone.
I haven’t yet begun to grasp The immensity of your sky of stars. I haven’t started to see your hand In the tiny details of my mundane life. I haven’t fathomed the deepest depths Your love was willing to go Just to be with me. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I that You should see me In a world so full of beauty? Who am I? Who am I? How could You love me When You know me? When You know inside of me? I can’t even start to dream Of all the million many details that You paint. I don’t know where to start When I look around at all Your art. I don’t understand the greatest lengths Your love was willing to walk Just to be with me. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I that You should see me In a world so full of beauty? Who am I? Who am I? How could You love me When You know me? When You see so deep inside me? My darkness trembles My fear begins to shake. My anger melts before Your grace The light erases me. Who are You? Who are You? Who are You that You can love me You can change me so completely? Who are You? Who are You? So much holy, holy are You So much love and passion are You So much light and life are You And You yearn for me to know You. You gave up everything Just to be with me. Note: For some reason, the song “Here’s My Life” by BarlowGirl is stuck in my head: God I’m crying out tonight ’cause I’ve given you my life but I’m tired and I’m missing what’s behind so once more here’s my life
Silence cuts more cleanly than a knife A back turned is a jagged shard scraped across my heart A disgusted retreat is a thousand glittering points plunged deeply into my soul I don’t know how a tear became an ocean I don’t know how a word became a wall When did one question asked in peace towards comfort Turn so dark, so deadly, so full of rage? Now I am alone Not quite alone I don’t know how to apologize for a crime I’m unaware of I don’t know how to mend a tear I didn’t know I caused. Are these shadows of the past Come to haunt and taunt and torment me? Are these old wounds left to fester until accidentally jarred? Are these freshly caused by me or Are these year and years more old? When I thought the thing was whole, When I thought all was resolved The the winds howled suddenly louder The the rain came lashing down And the silence was a slamming door at your back The lock so finally turning the rumbling thunder in the dark. My tears are spent My heart is frozen My hands tremble as I write. It is empty I’m confused It is quiet I’m shaking Is it done?
“Peace I give to You” Almighty One I need peace; Rest and comfort to calm my soul Help and order to sooth my mind. Confusion roils through my heart I seek Your truth I seek Your way But I find that I don’t find The answers that I seek I find that I don’t know Who You are or What to say. Do the small things count? Do the mundane things matter? When I talk to You Do I presume with my questions? Are requests too selfish? Are my askings out of line? I feel I’ve lost my tongue, My voice is blind. I know you speak and answer I know You’re always here I have no doubt You love me I have no doubt You’re mine. Yet I wonder, is it personal with You? If the Plan is more important What’s the point of asking You? Do I take Your “promises” Out of Your context When I apply them to me and myself? My foundations are crumbled My understanding has faltered My heart is confused: Are You Friend and Father? I know You created the universe huge I know You created each person on earth I know You created each tiny (annoying) bug I know You created each one of us. Who are You? What importance am I? How should I relate to the maker of Life? Who are You? Who am I to You? What can I whisper to the creator of Life? Who are You? How does this all fit? How should I walk in this relationship With You?
Back and forth and round and round Running hard into the ground. Working hard ’til nothing’s done, There’s no time left for a little fun. Too much time spent chasing me Not enough for me to see That building castles in the sand Won’t help me find a place to land. Up and down and round and round Chasing peace that won’t be found, Forgetting that to really rest I need to stop and seek His best.