As I’ve learned more and journeyed farther this summer, not only have I gotten freer, but I’ve started paying attention to the things I say. Over and over, it seems I don’t speak in a way that is uplifting and positive. So, I’ve starting actually thinking a little bit more before I speak. Okay, so this doesn’t work all the time. There are lots of times when I think back and wish I could have said things differently, or more often, not said anything at all. But I’ve tried to stop saying, “I can’t….” and I’ve tried to speak things into my own life, and into my children’s lives, that are positive and that claim the promises given to us in the Bible. I’m reading a book called, What You Say is What You Get by Don Gossett. And no, it’s not a “pray for a fast car or lots of money and get it” kind of book. It’s about the words we say and the impact that they have on our life. Do I speak words of life? Or do I speak death? Do my words line up with God’s truth? I find that often my words lack faith. I know that when I speak in the name of Yeshua I carry the weight and authority of Yeshua to enforce His rule and reign, but I struggle to really believe that I have that authority. And the one who doubts is like a leaf blown and tossed by the wind. How do I finally believe what I know to be true? I desire a revelation of understanding that penetrates deep into my heart and doesn’t just sit on the surface. Oh, for childlike faith where nothing is impossible and everything brings delight and wonder.
As we’ve dug deeper into prayer, I’ve begun to notice God working more and more… I went in to speak with my Principal about some tech questions, and ended up talking about ways to work with teachers to improve technology use and about leading the 9th grade English team! Definitely not expected! But pretty awesome! Today I went in to speak with my Principal about the tech job I had applied for and then withdrawn my application from. I wanted her to know so she didn’t hear through the grapevine and wonder why I hadn’t told her. I was nervous that she’d be upset that I had even considered it, but when I told her and explained why I didn’t end up applying, she was so kind and appreciative and encouraging! It was awesome! I finally feel like I’m moving forward a little. So much of my teaching career feels like I’ve stood still and never stood out (in a good way). And, it’s pretty awesome to see some of the amazing things God is doing! Yay! So, I realized I used “awesome” about a million times. Why are there so few words in the English language that express that kind of exuberance?